Book Review: Speed Metal Kitchen of Doom by Crisix, Ana Lipec & Bastian Doblekar

This is a new one on us. We don’t get too many books through for review, and the majority are autobiographies, histories of metal and so on. All good, but it’s nice to get something different. Up step Crisix with a metal-themed recipe book to go with their recent pizza-themed EP. The full story of the album, and all the tracks, are available on a movie-style video which you can watch below.

It’s not a slim volume, at 316 pages in the version I have, so it’s good value for money. Each band member has submitted thirteen recipes, and there’s a ton of extra stuff in there as well. Tour photos, band info, interview snippets and so on. Hell, it’s the written version of being in the kitchen with them while they cook and chat. It’s a tour journal, covering many years and countries, focused on food.

The first 240 pages are the bulk of the book, where the band take us through every step of their musical existence. From meeting up, the trials of finding a studio they could afford and who would let them record loud music, the steps up the ladder and opportunities provided them by various festival appearances… and then the tours. All over the world, taking their food with them and sampling the local cuisine wherever they end up. It makes a huge difference to read an in-depth band bio that’s as much about the stomach as the ears!

Now, the band readily admit that they’re not trained chefs in any way, but like a lot of us they’ve spent a fair bit of time at home over the last couple of years and have worked at their cooking skills. The recipes, as such, are fairly simple which is ideal for those who want to try them out. There’s a huge variety, and the little tips are welcome – such as skimping on the quality of your spaghetti if it means you can throw a few more pesetas on better cheese. Their well known sense of humour comes through, and some of the recipes are glorious in their laughable simplicity. Hell, I fancy a Punk Dog right now.

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Barring his liking of fish, Javi’s definitely got the same mindset as me with many of his recipes involving heating up potatoes with very few other ingredients. Juli’s recipes sate the vegetarian palate, and many are dessert treats though perhaps not ideal for those with nut allergies! Req is happy to burn up beef, chicken and squid with some tasty, and comparatively ambitious, recipes. BB joins Juli in the vegan / vegetarian school of thought, but that doesn’t mean his recipes are any less mouth-watering. He does cheat an include seafood in one, though, so I assume he’s pescetarian! Pla’s Vietnamese Pogo Riot is high on my “to try” list, and sounds delicious.

I love the way the guys have come up with recipes influenced from their worldwide tours, but in many cases have tweaked them to include a taste of (their) home. Galician cheese and liquor is mentioned in a few. Nothing wrong with promoting your local cuisine. Especially when it’s tasty!

This is a great book. It’s easy to read, funny, interesting, in-depth and metal as fuck. Definitely recommended.

You can order Speed Metal Kitchen of Doom now – in English, Spanish and as part of a “Kitchen of Doom” pack via BigCartel.

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Crisix: official | facebook | twitter | instagram | spotify | youtube | patreon | bigcartel

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December 26, 2021 6:15 PM

[…] Ugh. Where do we start? 2021 was a horrible mess, filled with cancelled gigs, political garbage (more so than ever before) and climaxed with one of the worst Christmas number one singles in living memory. Thankfully somehow, somehow, music survived in near-guerrilla format. Bands continued their pushes online, live streams have become as commonplace as podcasts, merch became more imaginative (though watch those delays on vinyl right now…) and thrash acts even started writing books. […]