How to Overcome the Fear of Sex

Having sex can bring both joys and be a source of negative emotions. Inexperience, lack of awareness, or the presence of sexual problems in the past can provoke the fear of sexual intercourse. Women and men have both common problems and fear specific to a particular gender. Awareness, work on yourself and the aid from a specialist will help you free yourself from the captivity of fear.

Look fear in the face.

Understand exactly what you are afraid of, and then challenge your fear. If you are afraid of sex, then you need to determine what exactly the cause of your concerns is. Having established the true reasons, you can focus on finding the right solution.

Sit back and make a list of things that scare you in sex. For example, you don’t know how to approach the issue, are afraid to do something wrong, or are shy about how you look without clothes. Having identified the problems, make a list of possible solutions. For example, if you don’t know how to talk about this with your partner, then ask a trusted friend for advice or find someone you can adopt. Even a melodrama can help you with that. If you are afraid to do something wrong, then you should understand the issue and determine what suits you and what does not. Preparedness and awareness will most definitely reduce your fears.

Get familiar with the anatomy and physiology.

The structure and functioning of the human body have been studied for centuries. If you are not familiar with the anatomy of a man or woman or want to clarify some points, then there is an incredible amount of information available to you out there. Come up with a plan to defeat your fears. Fighting fear of sex is no exception. Define the main tasks, and then take steps to implement your plan.

Make a list of what scares you. 

Are you afraid of the likely possibility of sexual intimacy during a date? Maybe the idea of ​​inviting someone for a date scares you? Are you worried about your appearance, bad breath, or excessive sweating? Solve your issues step by step. For example, if you are afraid to invite a girl on a date, first try to find out the time. This will not be an offer to go on a date or have sex, but then you will turn to a person yourself and ask them a question, which will also become an experience of communication. This is the first step towards your goal. Any sort of work on a solution to the problem will dispel your fear. Creating an action plan will help you feel that you are working on a solution to a situation. But just so you know, people finding love at 60 enjoy sex as well, they have their fears as well, and if you are a young person struggling with sex, just remember that one positive experience will either defeat your fears altogether or have a significant positive impact on your sexual life.


To defeat the fear of sex, you need to gradually move forward. Studies show that fear passes when a person decides to overcome it in an imaginary situation or practice. Having a positive experience is the best way to achieve your goal.

It is important to know what pleases you. Understand what exactly pleases you by touching yourself, imagining interacting with another person, or using sex toys designed to cause arousal. If you have a loved one, then gradually gain experience in expressing your feelings, hold each other’s hands, kiss, do massage, touch each other in intimate places, and eventually move on to sexual intercourse. No need to try to speed up the process or put pressure on yourself. This way you can only increase your fear.

Talk about your emotions.

When communicating with a person you love, do not forget to be kind and caring to show your emotional openness. Sex is an emotional experience, so do not forget about it during your conversations.

If you feel emotionally or physically awkward, then tell your partner about it because you need time to gain confidence. For example, if it seems to you that you are in a hurry, or you feel physically unwell, then you can say, “We need to stop. I feel uncomfortable.” No need to rush and abruptly switch to sex. The consequences can be dire. And so you can still be emotionally open with your partner and independently determine the boundaries of what is permitted at any given moment.

Do not forget to have a good time.

Having sex should bring joy, so relax and surrender to the will of excitement. If you focus on the pleasant sensations, then you can forget about fear. A light mood is the key to freedom and a lack of constraint. For example, you can be playful, joke, and laugh at yourself. This way you both can relax and have fun.

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