Each day in the run-up to the finals, we’re doing two tracks from the 2015 Eurovision Song Competition and
tearing them to shreds analysing them carefully in a bid to predict the winner on May 23rd.
THE NETHERLANDS: Trijntje Oosterhuis – “Walk Along”
MOSH: Here’s a recommendation… don’t try to listen to too many Eurovision songs one after the other. They end up blending into each other and you realise just what an unvaried bunch of claptrap they really are. This one suffers from being about the eighth track that follows the same pattern and fatigue is kicking in… 1/5
DAVE: Ah, the crazy Dutch, shmoke and a pancake. Why, why-aiaiai, why-aiaiai won’t you walk along walk along baby? Because there are fecking bikes everywhere…who would walk when you can just jump on a bike and get around quicker that way. Stupid basis for a song is that. 1/5
NORWAY: Mørland – “A Monster Like Me”
MOSH: Coldplay meets female Coldplay. Yes, that bad. 1/5
DAVE: With a title of “A Monster Like Me” I’ve got high hopes that this Norwegian entry might be a little bit dark and metally. Yeah, those get kicked to the kerb right away. Fuck. Anyway, this one is actually a good duet – I can’t see it winning but you never know. 3/5