Saturday, March 24, 2018
GIK Acoustics - Europe
GIK Acoustics - Europe
The Moshville Times

Auntie Goblin answers…

We're not all as pretty as this

We’re not all as pretty as this

Martin from Dewsbury asks:

“If Goblins are so great, how come it’s the Orcs who get all the good scenes in The Lord of the Rings?”


But if you have to, then I should point out that the Orcs got resolutely shafted during the story. Hell, even in that Hobbit film, the big tough white Orc can’t seem to beat a couple of bloody furry-toed midgets.

Seriously, they only used Orcs because they needed some ugly bastards who they could beat. If they’d used Goblins, it would have made the books/films entirely unbelievable as works of historically-based fiction because we would have won.

But, seriously, try not to mention us in the same sentence as those brain-dead automatons again. Or I’ll hunt you down, carve out your heart and burn it to a crisp.

[Nekrogoblikon’s Power is out now! If you want your problem dealt with by Auntie Goblin then drop her a line.]

About The Author


Father. Husband. Teacher of Computing. PADI divemaster. Krav Maga Practitioner. Geordie. Geek. Nerd. Metal nut. I also own and run a website - you may have heard of it.

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