I confess I am a fourteen year old boy trapped in a forty-two year old man’s body. So when Rectal Smegma caught my eye (and wouldn’t it yours) it instantly grabbed my attention for review. After all, anyone who can name their band after something that seems to combine the vileness of early Carcass with the humour level of Sliced Pimples (remember them?) has to be fun, right?
This is Rectal Smegma’s fifth full album, and they’ve added to that total with a handful of split EPs alongside bands with even less printable names, certainly ones which would make this article impossible to edit later on courtesy of my work’s internet filter. As such, please excuse any asterisks which I may have to use liberally during this review…
It’s probably no surprise that Gnork is a splatter/gore/grind album of the heaviest type. From song titles to style to sleeve to title track video (see below) they’re about as family unfriendly as a band can be. Unless your family are all schlock horror fans with no qualms about swearing in front of minors.
This is a really heavy album, far sludgier than the likes of Symphonies of Sickness. It’s a full on, throaty noiseblast for a couple of tracks before “Zombie Zuigtocht (Je Probeert Wat)” (track 3) really includes the first recognisable guitar notes amongst all the monstrous thrashing. This isn’t a bad thing, per se, just to let you know what you’re in for. But let’s be fair, nobody really listens to extreme goregrind to chill out and sip a cappuccino to. This is music to have on your phone just to tell someone who asks you what you’re listening to that the song’s called “Chocolate Milfshake” or “Sh*t squirting Sandy”.
It’s not music to be taken seriously, and it’s patently obvious that the four guys in Rectal Smegma are – while producing some wonderfully head-blasting tunes – having a right laugh as they do so. Hell, they even have special guests. Aborted’s Sven appears on “Foreskin Mask” (one of the best songs on here) and Dennis from Severe Torture does the vocals on “Beer and Benefits”.
The whole album is utterly bonkers and needs, I feel, to be fully appreciated by hearing the band play it live. If they’re half as much fun on stage as they give the impression of being from this recording then I’d definitely head out to see them.
Gnork is out now on Rotten Roll Rex.