Each day in the run-up to the finals, we’re doing two tracks from the 2015 Eurovision Song Competition and
tearing them to shreds analysing them carefully in a bid to predict the winner on May 23rd.
ROMANIA: Voltaj – “De La Capat”
MOSH: Voltaj look like a rock band. Or a pop/punk band, depending on the promotional still you dig up. They sounds like crap. Electronic-led, tinny, balladic, twee nonsense. Even throwing in about three lines of English amongst all the Romanian lyrics doesn’t help as it only reveals their boy-band shitness. NUL PWA!
DAVE: Oh bollocks….back to the ballady stuff. This one does nothing for me – I asked it to stop but it just wouldn’t. I’m going to go postal if the Serbian entry is a ballad. NUL PWA!
SERBIA: Bojana Stamenov – “Beauty Never Lies”
MOSH: Whoever titled this song has never heard of either make-up or Photoshop. Both are proof that not-so-hot chicks can pass themselves off as vixens with a bit of artificial aid. The song itself, though, needn’t concern itself with such things. No amount of pixel-tinkering could hide the fact that it’s generic Euro-twaddle. Bad enough trying to pass yourself off as a cheap Shirley Bassey knock-off without making things worse by chucking in some fuck-awful dance crap halfway through. NUL PWA!
DAVE: OK – it’s not a full-on ballad, but it starts a bit like one. PHEW!! This lady has a set of pipes on her – musically it’s shocking, even going TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO halfway through. I can see this being a potential winner, but it’s middle of the road for me. 3/5