Each day in the run-up to the finals, we’re doing two tracks from the 2015 Eurovision Song Competition and
tearing them to shreds analysing them carefully in a bid to predict the winner on May 23rd.
IRELAND: Molly Sterling – “Playing With Numbers”
MOSH: Dave’s probably going to give this one ten marks due to him being a potato-muncher so I feel the need to apply balance. Only I can’t as Ms Sterling can actually put out a decent tune, and has that accent that reminds me of the Corrs. I’m docking a mark for those bloody “rousing” rumbly drums and cymbals that almost every solo artist insists on using to make their song seem more dramatic. 4/5
DAVE: We (Ireland) hold the record for wins in the competition with 7, but last won the Eurovision in 1996 (4th time in 5 years that one was) but since then we’ve decided to give others more of a chance. And the reason is because it’s fecking expensive to host the bloody thing the following year. We’ve served up some right turkeys (literally, in one case) since then but it sounds like that plan has come to an end. I bet you the Irish government have thought “Let’s win the Euro this year, bring a load of people over to the capital next year and clean up on the tourism side of things” and take everyone’s mind off the rest of the problems they need to fix first.
The song? Standard ballad, but I think the lyrics have an element of “tongue-in-cheek” aimed at the bean counters themselves. Good work, if so. 4/5
ISRAEL: Nadav Guedj – “Golden Boy”
MOSH: Oh good grief, this is terrible. Beginning with “Mama…” I start thinking of Queen’s classic only this isn’t fit to lick Freddy Mercury’s used hamster collection. Thirty seconds later it manages to actually get worse sounding like some kind of Bollywood effort forced through the MIDI chip on a £1.99 sound card that’s been trodden on. NUL PWA! (and I wish I could give it less)
DAVE: Someone listened to Bohemian Rhapsody’s lyrics for the opening salvo on this one….hold on, BACKSTREET’S BACK. Nah, doesn’t last for long and this song is a mess. NUL PWA!