Saturday, August 19, 2017
GIK Acoustics - Europe
GIK Acoustics - Europe
The Moshville Times

Auntie Goblin answers…

We're not all as pretty as this

We’re not all as pretty as this

Martin from Dewsbury asks:

“If Goblins are so great, how come it’s the Orcs who get all the good scenes in The Lord of the Rings?”

DON’T TALK ABOUT FUCKING ORCS TO ME!

But if you have to, then I should point out that the Orcs got resolutely shafted during the story. Hell, even in that Hobbit film, the big tough white Orc can’t seem to beat a couple of bloody furry-toed midgets.

Seriously, they only used Orcs because they needed some ugly bastards who they could beat. If they’d used Goblins, it would have made the books/films entirely unbelievable as works of historically-based fiction because we would have won.

But, seriously, try not to mention us in the same sentence as those brain-dead automatons again. Or I’ll hunt you down, carve out your heart and burn it to a crisp.

[Nekrogoblikon’s Power is out now! If you want your problem dealt with by Auntie Goblin then drop her a line.]

About The Author

Mosh

Father. Husband. Teacher of Computing. PADI divemaster. Krav Maga Practitioner. Geordie. Geek. Nerd. Metal nut. I also own and run a website - you may have heard of it.

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