Martin from Dewsbury asks:
“If Goblins are so great, how come it’s the Orcs who get all the good scenes in The Lord of the Rings?”
DON’T TALK ABOUT FUCKING ORCS TO ME!
But if you have to, then I should point out that the Orcs got resolutely shafted during the story. Hell, even in that Hobbit film, the big tough white Orc can’t seem to beat a couple of bloody furry-toed midgets.
Seriously, they only used Orcs because they needed some ugly bastards who they could beat. If they’d used Goblins, it would have made the books/films entirely unbelievable as works of historically-based fiction because we would have won.
But, seriously, try not to mention us in the same sentence as those brain-dead automatons again. Or I’ll hunt you down, carve out your heart and burn it to a crisp.
[Nekrogoblikon’s Power is out now! If you want your problem dealt with by Auntie Goblin then drop her a line.]